The last several mornings I have woke with swelling and pain in my hands and feet. It is so hard to get out of bed on these mornings. Then my mind thinks of those littles that depend on me. Need me. Love me. So, out of bed I come knowing that these days are a bit more challenging. More painful. More exhausting. But, I also know on these days God will shine in new ways. Like how this morning Abs stroked my head and had Levi rub my back saying, "Mommy needs us. Mommy hurts and we need to help her." Be still my heart!
Yet, these days are also so very hard, like when Levi just wants to be held and I just don't have it in me because of the aches that I am feeling. Or how little things seem so much bigger. How my patience runs so much thinner. How I feel like the kids need me more, and are much less independent. And the bickering, oh the bickering....
On these days I try to remember the good things. How God provides for me each and every day. How he eases my aches, helps me to stay calm in the storm, and provides me sunshine during the rain. He has given me such sweet friends. Encouraging friends, loving friends, friends that I am able to be vulnerable with and they accept me. All of me.
I am able to see the excitement as Gabriel shows Abigail a new nest of ladybugs with such sweetness and enthusiasm. How Abigail lovingly talks to Levi and he wraps his arms around her as they drive their jeep. How Brooklyn (who is not a cuddler) just sits next to me and hugs me so gently. How my husband steps up and does things before I ask. He knows me, gets me, cares for me.
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